How are we doing?

I get asked this question quite often.  If you ask Jo, he'll say fine.  If you ask me, i'll say we are not.

To be honest, we are both living it differently.  I'm more vocal about it and i show it more.  Jo is more quiet and reserved about it.  Both have their positive and negative draw backs.

Knowing that your loved one will be passing away in a matter of months is very hard to deal with.  It's hard to wrap our heads around it because less than a year ago, he was a normal person.  It's taken over his body so rapidly, it's been quite scary to say the least.

We are adjusting our lives out a little, because it will get much harder sooner rather than later (although it's already hard)....  we will eventually have to take time off.  It's simply not the time, yet.  

But in the midst of this disease, we are trying hard to focusing on the fact that the Lord has protected him for many years so that he can take care of his ailing wife (she passed away 5 years ago from Alzheimer). That he has had a marvelous life, one that he can look back on and be proud of.  He was a man of God.  A preacher.  And he loved his boys.  He was always there to take care of us when we needed his help.

We have found ourselves needing to slow down our family life (as much as one can with teenagers and children).  If you don't see us much, it's because we are resting.  Or simply because crowds make us uncomfortable.  I don't know why really, they just do.  It may have to do in part with the fact that we had distanced ourselves from our home church right before all this and we are still searching for a place to call "home".

Our work helps us take our minds off of reality a little.  We stay busy by providing for our family.  It's our security blanket right now.  And we appreciate it.

The kids are good.  The last saw their grandfather Jan 4th, for the last time.  And they found it difficult to see him in such as state.  It was hard because he looked different and all he could talk about was the fact that he was loosing more and more mobility and he didn't understand why.

Our teenage girls understand the impact a little more than our younger two.  They understand the tragic life expectancy of this horrible disease. 

We keep walking through it one day at a time, praying tomorrow will be a better day.

Some weeks seem to be better than others.  Some, harder.   But we rejoice knowing that we are beginning to have more good days rather than bad ones.  And that's progress.